As social beings we may be feel that life is more meaningful when sharing it with someone else, and for all sort of good (and sometimes bad) reasons we fall into relation with another. This being in relation may fill the couple with bliss as at the outset and while many people still feel this love and bliss after 50 years or more together other relationships may not fare as well.
The couple that are still in love with each other would have worked very hard at the relationship over the years and may have also sought help along the way. They would have learned how to navigate their personal challenges along the way and learnt how to be there for each other. They would have mastered some of what may seem like simple tools in the art of communication, expressing their needs and they may have understood each other’s love languages. They would have learnt how to resolve conflict without hurting each other in the process. They would have invested the necessary time to develop a healthy relationship with themselves as well as with each other; having sufficient room to flourish individually so that they could flourish together.
For couples that end up questioning the future of their relationship or feel unloved, unseen, and unheard by their partner, relationship counselling provides the platform to help unravel what is really happening within the individual as well as the actual relationship itself.
Apart from personal unresolved trauma going as far back to childhood or anytime in between or untreated diagnosed/undiagnosed personality disorders experienced by either partner there are a multitude of reasons why couples drift apart from each other and why the relationship can become toxic. One of the main reasons I have found is that couples do not pay sufficient attention to the relationship and believe that the relationship will just exist because they exist. This combined with years of ignoring issues in the name of keeping the peace trips the couple up.
Set up a session and let’s explore where you and your partner are and see how to move things forward.