Relationship Counselling provides a space for couples to explore and strengthen the foundation of the relationship, or to enhance communication and connection, as well as work through challenges within the relationship. It is not a guarantee that the couple will stay together, and after a period of counselling couples may decide that the journey together has ended. Relationship counselling gets a bad rap as being ineffective. One of the reasons for this is that couples seek help when it is too late. Sometimes, there is too much water under the bridge, and there have been too many years of disconnection, with the result that the couple have grown apart. Sometimes disrespect and hatred have become the precipitating feelings towards each other, and the relationship has become too toxic to repair, especially if one partner has emotionally checked out of the relationship. If a couple decide to part ways, and are in legally recognised marriage the next step, traditionally has been filing for divorce.
Family Law Mediation
The reality is that the courts system simply cannot cope with the volume of divorce hearings. The result is that these proceedings take anything from moths to years to process, costing the couple exorbitant amounts of money, and delating closure and the opportunity for them to move on with their lives. This situation can become even worse when the animosity between the parents is extreme and the children can become the victims of animosity between the parents.
In South Africa, the legal system has a process to reduce the time, cost, and resolution of divorce through a vehicle called Family Law Mediation. This was introduced via High Court Rule 41A (Joubert, 2020) came into operation on 9th March 2020. The rule seeks to encourage litigants to refer their disputes to mediation before proceeding with litigation. This is good news for litigants who want quick, cost effective, and fair settlements of their disputes. Rule 41A stipulates that a couple seeking a divorce need to first attend mediation, and that they can only approach the court for divorce proceedings if mediation has failed. Lawyers are obliged to provide counsel in this regard to their respective clients in this regard.
Family Mediation is a form of Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) (Liberto, 2021), and is the process in which an independent, professionally trained mediator helps you work out arrangements for children and finances following separation. Mediation can also be helpful when original arrangements/agreements need to change, particularly as your children grow up, move to high school, and/or study overseas.
The benefits of mediation are that it saves the couple time and money, and more importantly can let both parties separate amicably through the mediation process.
Outcomes of mediation services I offer can include any or all of the following: –
My interest in adding Mediation as a service to existing and/or new clients is my belief that partners can end a relationship amicably and with dignity and honour. I also believe that the impact of divorce or separation should have as minor an impact on children as possible. The combination of counselling and mediation will reduce the level of dysfunction on two levels: help alleviate future unresolved issues that either party may face when they enter into a new relationship, AND ensure that the children understand and process the way their lives post the divorce/separation have changed, and help them build or strengthen relationships with both parents.
To make contact, or if you require more information, please click the Mediation Enquiry Form.
